i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
