Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
