Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize