get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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