brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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