so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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