ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
