It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize