Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
PANTIES FOUND
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
