is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
