member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Less talking, more tequila
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize