just tell him i said nine months
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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