You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
