So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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