they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
