dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
