I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
