I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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