Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
