If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
