I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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