Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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