What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
