I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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