This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
