you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
