ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize