He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There's always time for handjobs
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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