Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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