well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
