Non-Jews are for practice
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize