your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
