i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize