I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
