I can text with my tongue
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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