so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
