Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
