When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't deserve a penis
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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