Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
