I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
