I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
