she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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