it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
