there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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