is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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