a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
