When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
