The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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