hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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