I just pynch a tree in the face
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
