he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
