Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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