well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Are my feet made of real feet?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize