he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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