I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
