Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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