Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
