i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
