after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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