Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
