New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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