call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
