I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
